Some people thrive on confrontation. They usually end up being in sales. Yet for all of us, whether you are a parent or a chiropractor, or both, you realize that some ability to confront is important in our life. No one enjoys confronting their children regarding negative aspects of the child’s behavior. We love our children and the very thought of confrontation is not pleasant. Sometimes the result of the confrontation is the parent’s hand vigorously applied to a certain area of the child’s anatomy. Anyone who is a parent knows the maxim that discipline is more painful to the parent than it is for the child. That is probably why we have so few parents doing it these days, and so many unruly, misbehaving children. We do not want to be made uncomfortable, to feel the pain of having to discipline our children, to acknowledge that they are sometimes not the perfect little angels we want them to be. However, if we want them to be good people, we must pay the price. If you don’t want that responsibility, you should probably get a cat instead of having children. Everyone knows that it is impossible to get a cat to do anything other than what it wants to do. We confront (and discipline when necessary) our children because it is in their best interest.
The same is true about confrontation in the chiropractic office. Sure, we talk about chiropractic for the world, we talk about loving humanity and enabling our practice members to be all that they can be, but sometimes I wonder whether we really believe it. You would confront your child about wandering out into the street when playing. You would explain carefully and lovingly the danger of that, and if it did not work, you would apply the necessary punishment to discipline them into staying out of the street. I am not suggesting that you spank your practice members for missing appointments. The chiropractic state board frowns upon that type of practice management. However, perhaps we need to be a little more confrontational with them.
I think that the important point is that you can be confrontational without being abrasive or offensive. The issue, as I see it, is how vital is it that your practice members understand the importance of chiropractic for them and their entire family and that they receive it regularly for their lifetime. The degree to which we confront our children is directly proportional to the importance of the issue. Parents call that “choosing your battles.” We may not choose to confront our teenagers about the absurd style of their clothes when they go out, but we most assuredly are going to make an issue out of what time they are expected home. If we did not care what time our children got home, it would convey to them the idea that we are not too terribly concerned about their safety and well-being. While children may at first resent the iron-handed parent, in the end they realize how much they are loved (providing they are being shown love in other areas of their life). We need to apply that same concept to our practice members. It is difficult to show them how much we love them. Unlike the manner in which we relate to our children, we cannot afford to buy them all an Ipod for their birthday. While that is not a good indication of how much we love our children, it is one some children use to manipulate their parents, at least before they mature. When they get older they often realize that the confrontation was a better indication of love than the Ipod. We can and should find ways to show practice members we care for them and about them. That does not mean that we forego confrontation. Practice members forget their appointments or forget being regular in their care just like our children forget or ignore their curfew. However, if they know we really care for them, they will accept our confrontation in the spirit in which it is intended or should be intended. We should absolutely show them we care, by not neglecting confrontation on issues that are vital to their chiropractic care and well-being. They must understand that the confrontation is being done for their benefit. That is not always easy. The teenager thinks the curfew is for the parent’s benefit, so they will not lose sleep or worry about where their child is. They need to know that is not the case. It is because as a parent, who loves their child, you want to do what is best for them and their well-being.
Our practice members need to be confronted about keeping their appointments and continuing lifetime care because it is important to their well being, not because you need their money. The only way the confrontation can be effective is if they understand the benefits of regular chiropractic care and the negative results of not having their spines checked on a regular basis. That occurs by having a good, effective educational program in the office. If you don’t have one, your confrontation will be no better than the parent who, when questioned by the teenager why they have to be home by 11 PM, is told, “Because I said so.”
After you have a good educational program in place, the practice member understands that it is all about their best interest in life and health. Then you need to be able to confront them when they have failed to live up to the guidelines of that program. V23n3
Underconfronting